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Lookup NU author(s): Dr Manuel Mazzara
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License (CC BY 4.0).
Purpose: The purpose of this paper is to highlight the complex and dynamic emotional journey for the returning home ethnographer. Design/methodology/approach: In this paper, I reflect on my experiences of conducting a multimethod home ethnography undertaken between 2014 and 2018 in Northern Ireland which explored the emotional legacy of the Northern Ireland conflict, euphemistically referred to as ‘The Troubles’. Throughout the process, I maintained textual and digital reflective journals to record my observations, thoughts and feelings. In reviewing these journals, I identified that they traced my evolving emotions as they related to my perceptions of home and homelessness. These journals have formed the basis of this paper. Findings: In the paper, I give insights into the complex and evolving emotions I experienced throughout my home ethnography. In the early stages of my research, I explore the romanticism I experienced as I desperately tried to reconnect with my home. I then reflect on the ambivalent emotions I developed towards Northern Ireland as I spent more time there, simultaneously experiencing feelings of frustration and sometimes fear intertwined with a strong desire to fit in and belong there. Finally, I came to experience the bittersweet emotion, nostalgia, realising that one can never truly go home again because of the irreversibility of time. Originality / Value: By sharing my story, I aim to contribution to the literature on home ethnography by providing new insights into the complex and evolving range of emotions encountered throughout the different stages of home ethnography. Additionally I aim to contribute to the problematization of Alvesson’s (2009) definition of home ethnography by exploring the insider / outsider dichotomy for a returning ethnographer positioned within a deeply sectarian and segregated society. Finaly, I provide insights into the long-term emotional impact of forced displacement due to the Northern Ireland conflict.
Author(s): Mazzetti AS
Publication type: Article
Publication status: Published
Journal: Journal of Organizational Ethnography
Year: 2025
Pages: epub ahead of print
Online publication date: 17/12/2024
Acceptance date: 09/11/2024
Date deposited: 09/11/2024
ISSN (print): 2046-6749
ISSN (electronic): 2046-6757
Publisher: Emerald Publishing Limited
URL: https://doi.org/10.1108/JOE-09-2024-0056
DOI: 10.1108/JOE-09-2024-0056
ePrints DOI: 10.57711/95tp-s255
Notes: On page four of the manuscript, for ‘I make two contributions‘ read ‘I make three contributions’.
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